y does it seem when u're in ur waekest state evry1's out 2 freaking make ur dae worse then it alreadi is.. haiz* mayb i'm juz suffering frm lack of slp depression.. woke up so early.. 6 aft i slpt at 12 last nite.. head spinning d whole dae.. reali cld not help it an fell aslp during d 1st service sermon..

2nd sundae sch wuz killer.. i dunno.. Y D FREAK DO THEY WAN ME 2 GO BAQ 4 GD? screw u bastards.. hav u 4gotten wat made me leave? i'm not hating them or aniting.. but wa lau.. I WUZ PUT ON D PATH I M ON NOW CUZ I LEFT.. mayb it's God's will.. i dunno.. but i got into serious serving aft i went 2nd service.. so i dunno.. haiz* screw it all lar.. shit cums in clumps..
church has been getting me kinda infuriated dis few wks..

sundae sch wuz even more infuriating.. un-informed of aniting.. i dunno lar.. y does it seem tt ppl alwaes whine abt how much they feel fustrated tt their not feeling God's presence an stuff liddat? excuses.. hav they actually looked ard? or look at themselves? i dunno lar.. juz tt sumtimes it's kinda fustrating.. lyk when ppl sae sumting an then do another ting.. lyk.. i dunno lar.. kinda scared i get bitter an shit.. evryting juz went wrong 2dae lar.. d prayer meeting.. evryting juz made my fustration worse.. i dunno.. sumtimes i juz wonder.. otr then God, if i hav these problems? hu cn i ask 4 advice? evry1 has their own problems alreadi.. and i juz feel.. prob i'm gonna get stronger.. i heard yest tt wat ppl plan 4 bad.. God plans 4 gd.. so.. take my shit Lord.. U noe how i feel.. U c wat's ard me.. make me strong in U.. if i go on alone.. i'm gonna die slowly..

i dunno lar.. oso heard in James or sumting.. tt God puts u tru evryting 2 make u strong in faith.. so.. yar.. hope dis doesn't kill me.. d otr leaders r going thru, or hav gone thru worst shit then dis.. so yar.. i guess i cn tok 2 them.. most of all, God help me thru dis..