Friday, February 08, 2008


testing.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

THoTWIRTJL : PART 3

1992:
  1. I turn 5 and enter K1 this year. I have stopped crying but i still hate school.
  2. I am forced to perform "All i want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth", wearing red shorts, a yellow shirt and a paper mouth for the year end concert.
  3. Jealous that my brother got to play soldier and carry a gun the year before, and angry that they would me wear something that even a 5 year old would consider a fashion disaster, I resort to playing with my shadow on stage. I have the proof of that on film.
  4. George H. W. Bush is televised falling violently ill at a state dinner in Japan. He vomits on the lap of Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa and faints.
  5. Boris Yeltsin announces that Russia will stop targeting US cities with nuclear weapons.
  6. The Church of England allows women to become priests.
  7. Bands like blink-182, Weezer, Jamiroquai are formed.
1993
  1. 6 and K2 this year.
  2. I am sad when my classmate invites the class to his house and refuses to let me play his SNES. (aren't we all supposed to be friends?! asshole.)
  3. Ong Teng Cheong becomes the first President elected by the population. I remember the posters.
  4. SIA gets the 1000th Boeing 747.
  5. BIll Clinton is elected President.
  6. Frank Zappa dies of prostrate cancer.
  7. Micheal Jackson denies child molestation charges in a 4-minute statement broadcast on live television. (not the last time man.)
  8. The Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Jimmy Eat World, Third Eye Blind are formed this year.
1994
  1. 7 and in Primary 1 this year. I cry again in the first 2 weeks. (man i hate school. will only start to enjoy in in upper sec.)
  2. Get top in class for the 1st semester feel depressed when i get 5th for the next.
  3. Nirvana play their final show in Munich, Germany.
  4. Kurt Cobain dies this year.
  5. Friends premieres on NBC
  6. Netscape Navigator 1.0 is released.
  7. Dave Matthews Band's Under the Table and Dreaming is released. (ROCKS!)
  8. The Israel-Jordan Treaty of Peace is signed, ending the state of war since 1948.
  9. The Lion King is released.
Blogger is screwing up on me. Grrrr.

in today's news, me being helpful an volunteering to go back to help my Branch last night resulted in me sleeping at 3 a.m. DAMMIT.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD IN RELATION TO JOASH'S LIFE: part 2

1990:
  1. I turn 3 this year, still can't remember shit but i'm quite sure i'm walking an talking like a normal child.
  2. Apperently i didn't say a 1st word, but said a phrase, "gimmie that f***ing cookie b*tch!" (maybe not that phrase per se)
  3. The first Macdonald's opens in Moscow, Russia.
  4. Nelson Mendela is released from Victor Verster Prison, near Cape Town, South Africa after 27 years behind bars.
  5. The Royal New Zealand Navy stops it's daily rum ration.
  6. East Germany holds it's first free elections.
  7. West and East Germany unite on Oct 3.
  8. The World Health Organization removes homosexuality from its list of diseases.
  9. Iraq invades Kuwait, leading to the Gulf War I.
  10. The first known World Wide Web page is written.
  11. Slobodan Milošević becomes President of Serbia.
  12. Goh Chok Tong becomes the second Prime Minister of Singapore.
  13. The East-West MRT line is complete.
  14. Pearl Jam is formed! (whoo!)
1991:
  1. I turn 4 this year. My life of eternal holidays are gone.
  2. I am forced to go to kindergarten.
  3. I cry for at least the first few weeks. My grandad wonders what horrible things are happening there and agrees to fetch me from school.
  4. 4 Pakistanis hijack Singapore Airlines Filght 117, and are killed by the SOF.
  5. Operation Desert Storm begins after Iraq fails to follow the UN deadline to withdraw from Kuwait.
  6. Boris Yeltsin begins his 5-year term as the first elected president of Russia.
  7. The Warsaw Pact is officially dissolved in Prague.
  8. The SNES is released in the US.
  9. States like Estonia, Ukraine, Belarus, Azerbaijan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan and Latvia declare independence from Russia signalling the collaspe of the Soviet Union.
  10. Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as president of the Soviet Union.
  11. The Soviet Union officially ceases to exist.
  12. First GSM-phonecall rang in Finland.
  13. A Michigan Court bars Dr. Jack Kevorkian in assisting suicides.
  14. Nirvana release Nevermind.
  15. Grunge is in!
  16. Freddie Mecury dies of AIDS related complications in his home.
  17. Dave Matthews Band release their debut album (rocks!).
  18. Eric Clapton's 4 year old son falls 53 stories in his New York apartment.
  19. RHCP release Blood Sugar Sex Magik.
  20. Bands like Rage Against The Machine, Radiohead, L'Arc-en-Ciel, AFI and OutKast form.
more soon!







for your entertainment.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

i shall write a history book!

facebookas i sat in a cab on my way home today it struck me;
it has been almost a decade from the turning of a the new millenia.

i am bored and awaiting my heading back to camp in utter distain,
thus i shall attempt to chronicle the events that happened to the world,
an me (more importantly), as much as i can remember that is.

i present to you;


THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD IN RELATION TO JOASH'S LIFE

1987:
  1. I was born: on the morning of the 24th of May. (yay for the world!)
  2. Guns N' Roses release their album Appitite for Destruction.
  3. Green Day is formed.
  4. The 1st heart-lung transplant is performed in Baltimore, Maryland.
  5. World population reached 5 billion people in Zagreb, Croatia.
  6. The First Intifada begins in the Gaza Strip and West Bank.
  7. Ronald Reagan challenges Mikhail Gorbechev to tear down the Berlin Wall. " Mr Gorbechev, tear down this wall!"
  8. The initial section of the MRT is opened between Yio Chu Kang and Toa Payoh.
1988:

  1. I was a baby, so i don't think i can remember much. I turned 1 this year i guess.
  2. USSR begins Perestroika under Mikhail Gorbechev.
  3. Bands like Mr Big, Barenaked Ladies, B'z, The Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails,Deftones, Baha Men (-_-") and Cypress Hill are formed.
  4. The Red Army starts to withdraws from Afganistan. (We can thank Rambo for that.)
  5. The Iran-Iraq war ends, with an estimated one-million lives lost.
  6. Benazir Bhutto is sworn in as Prime Minister of Pakistan, the 1st woman to head to government of an Islam-dominated state.
  7. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is first published.
1989:

  1. I turn 2 this year. (still can't remember shit.)
  2. dad started travelling. at the height of this, he would be gone half the year.
  3. The Revolutions of 1989 sweep the Soviet Eastern Bloc, ushering in the death of Stalinistic Marxism-Leninism, leading to US dominance that lasts till this day.
  4. The Japanese Emperor Hirohito dies (29th April 1901 - 7th Jan 1989).
  5. The Soviet withdrawal from Afganistan is complete.
  6. An Iranian leader Ruhollah Khomeini encourages Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie, author of The Satanic Verses. Iran also cuts of diplomatic relations with the UK over this book.
  7. The Exxon Valdez oil spill take splace, 11 million gallons of oil are released.
  8. The first free elections in the Soviet Parliment goes against the Communist Party.
  9. The Dilbert comic strip is syndicated for the 1st time.
  10. The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 take place.
  11. The Berlin Wall falls on the 9th of November.
  12. Dream Theater release their first studio album.
i tire. part to will begin soon.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

less thoughts make for a happier joash.

i am a man of small demands,

let me come out during the evenings,

and leave me alone to read.

the leech once again is unrelenting.

oh let January pass!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

the sky bleeds black today,
groans and bellows.

a beginning indeed,
a life reviewed.

my god.

i am shocked into silence.




Tuesday, January 01, 2008

It has come to this, I'm finally going back to camp.

best days of 2007 came to me in the year's final struggle before it's death.
i watched in excitement as the she trashed, then fell silent.

Flashes of lights in the sky heralds a new birth.

2007 was a year that left a bitter taste in my mouth, 2008 will be one of change.
The thought of it leaves me dizzy with excitement.

With that said, a year is a year, moved on by the repeated gradual fading of light to dark, and dark to light.
There is no physical indication of a start or a finish, nor a mark that separates the months from days, or hours and seconds.

The gears will spin on mindlessly, and no one can do anything to stop it.

There is Nothing New Under the Sun.

First change to occur:
Fobble ChatterBox gives way to Cbox. (Good riddance bitch!)


Happy New Year people.





"If I tell you I'm strong will you play along?
Will you see I'm as insecure as anybody else?"





Tuesday, November 13, 2007

DAVE MATTHEWS BAND
DIGGING A DITCH

Run to your dreaming, when you’re alone
Unplug the TV and turn off the phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I’m

Digging a ditch where madness gives
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Digging a ditch for when I’m old
Digging a ditch my story’s told

Where all these troubles weigh down on me will rise
Run to your dreaming when you’re alone
Where all these questions spinnin' around in my head will die
Will die
Will die

Run to your dreaming when you’re alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I’m

Digging a ditch where madness gives
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Digging a ditch for when I’m through
Digging this ditch I’m digging for you

Where all these disappointments that grow angry out of me will die
Where all these habits that hold heavy on my heart will die

Run to your dreaming when you’re alone
Not what you should be or what you’ve become
Just get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I’m

Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Where all these troubles weigh down on me will rise
Will rise
Will rise
Will rise

Run to your dreaming when you’re alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch



Sunday, October 28, 2007




YESSSS!!!!!!

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO MAN..

!TOKYO JIHEN!


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Friday, October 05, 2007

children, pull on your tights.. and give them hell..

how will it be like to just run riot?

30,000 people walking down the street,

a multi-coloured sea of locusts,

flames where eyeballs used to dwell.

authority dies amidst kicks and screams.

sweet raspy guitar rocks riffs for sound track.





dumb dreams,
i walk home in the thick wet midafternoon sun

Sunday, September 30, 2007

the gig really drained me

but this song made me feel much better.


Ants Marching

He wakes up in the morning
Does his teeth bite to eat and he's rolling
Never changes a thing
The week ends the week begins
She thinks, we look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking
But we never say a thing
These crimes between us grow deeper

Goes to visit his mommy
She feeds him well his concerns
He forgets them
And remembers being small
Playing under the table and dreaming

Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die

Driving in on this highway
All these cars and upon the sidewalk
People in every direction
No words exchanged
No time to exchange

And all the little ants are marching
Red and black antennas waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way

Candyman tempting the thoughts of a
Sweet tooth tortured by the weight loss
Program cutting the corners
Loose end, loose end, cut, cut
On the fence, could not to offend
Cut, cut, cut, cut

Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die



Tuesday, September 25, 2007

5 and a half months left.
jamming more and more.
songs to learn.
pressure.

it stirs in me happiness, a purpose.
but not as much as i would like.

as much as i have been going out,
i miss one thing badly;


"i'll leave you some soup. warm it up and drink it when u get back."


Friday, September 21, 2007

my 2nd lung has returned.

i can breath again.

i can run again.


(drumbag found!)
=)

Monday, September 10, 2007

i'm stuck by a major tragedy.

i am crippled.

yet.

i have a chance to refocus.


WTF IS MY BLOODY DRUMSTICK BAG?!?!?!?!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

where the hell is the hard disk?!?!?!



i hate computer hardware

Thursday, August 23, 2007

it's crazy now..

u can't even tell it's midnight anymore..

it's just noon without sunlight.

good thing i'm home tho..

HAHAHAHAHA!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

blast from the past.


"Do you remember the time I knew a Girl From Mars?"

if i had my way, Gold 90.5 would be playing this song!


Friday, August 10, 2007

ah well.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

i'm the juggernaut, b*tch!

most of you would realize that i have been frequenting a jamming studio in simei recently,
mostly due to neighbours with super sensitive ears & retire to bed at 7 pm.

so i have to pay cash to play when i have all the equipment at home.
sucks.
(got pissed and drew on my drumskins, see previous post)

it's all well & good tho, i do get to try double pedals and stuff.

but one thing that i find amazing is the immense strength of the people that play the drums there..



the things that look like hay in the picture are parts of a broken drumstick.
notice how there is dust of a identical colour tone.

the drummer who did this didn't just break a stick,
he SHATTERED it.

W.....T.....H.....

Saturday, August 04, 2007

okok.. here's an update! i went shopping for drum stuff today!

  • cymbal crown (didn't fit) *sob*
  • snare attachment to fit cowbell an tambourine ( yay!)
  • practice pad that can be strapped to my knee (double yay!)


my new almost complete drumset!

wanted 2 take a picture of the practice pad, but bro took back his phone,
so no more camera.

too bad it's 2am, can't wait 2 play it soon!

whee! feel like a kid on christmas

Thursday, August 02, 2007

"their time done, they passed out of the gates to freedom, for the second time"

happy ORD Kee Wee and Desmond!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007



"Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train...come take me home..."

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Pasir Ris ( I've been here a long time)

an overwhelming air of mid-teen bliss,
hormones raging,
weakly corrupted by conscripted pains.
digital dreams
scraping my eardrums,
quietly suburban lanes.

the breeze blows cooler here,
Sun's little daggers,
find their blades dulled.
thick fluffy down that slows you,
willingly.

ruined by company,
yet leaving you lonely,
mind you, you're twenty!

awaken to chimes on bicycles,
to bodies of water,
small benches at bus-stops.
I see myself at every corner,
I've walked every path of the park.
the longer I stare,
slowly,
growing smaller.

almost home.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

you're right, you're absolutely right.

Monday, July 09, 2007

the origin of angst



" We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control"

Thursday, July 05, 2007

who says pop drumming can't be lyk power??

i give u.

(look out for bridge!)


i found myself stuck in a studio in chinatown watching a band playing chinese songs, but the singer ended up sounding thai.

my brother had asked me along to watch him jam wit this band that called him in. the guitarist/singer played songs that required only 4 chords even tho he had a Gibson, the drummer look stoned, my brother looked bored. they all looked 10 years older than me.

in the midst of d cacophony, i did wat i least expected to do. i started tinking... i noticed that tt this was wat i wanted 2 do. it's a purpose, a legacy they leave behind. i did manage to prove myself when the ting wuz over. but wat was d point? there's nowhere for me 2 go.

i've been a bum just looking for tings to do.. an now i feel damn guilty.

apologies to all who i have whined to an bugged..

i have got 2 make d best of my life..

i've got 2 occupy myself..

cuz seriously, i have gotta carry this weight by myself.

haiz*

Sunday, July 01, 2007

some songs just ring in your head..

this is 1 of them






Pearl Jam - Worldwide Suicide

I felt the earth on Monday, It moved beneath my feet.
In the form of a morning paper, Laid out for me to see.

Saw his face in a corner picture, I recognized the name.
Could not stop staring at the, Face I'd never see again.

It's a shame to awake in a world of pain
What does it mean when a war has taken over

It's the same everyday in a hell manmade
What can be saved, and who will be left to hold her?

The whole world, World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

Medals on a wooden mantle, Next to a handsome face.
That the president took for granted,
Writing checks that others pay.

And in all the madness, thought becomes numb and naive.
So much to talk about, nothing for to say.

It's the same everyday and the wave won't break
Tell you to pray, while the devils on their shoulder

Laying claim to the take that our soldiers save
Does not equate, and the truth's already out there

The whole world, World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

The whole world, World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

Looking in the eyes of the fallen
You got to know there's another, another, another, another, another way

It's a shame to awake in a world of pain
What does it mean when a war has taken over

It's the same everyday and the wave won't break
Tell you to pray, while the devils on their shoulder

The whole world, World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

The whole world, World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

i still can't slp on weekends

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

part 2!
i feel this take is beta..
by alot..



an yeah..
it's narcissist.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

every1 is entitled to narcicism (is tt how it's spelt?)

here's mine.

2nd take up soon..





*hee*

Sunday, June 17, 2007

GOD...
i wish i wish i wish..

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

we are all raindrops, trying to make the biggest ripple in the ocean

Sunday, June 10, 2007


THIRD EYE BLIND:
How's it gonna be

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder, what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder, is there anything I'm gonna miss

I wonder
How's it gonna be
When you don't know me
How's it gonna be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it gonna be
When there's no one there to talk to you
Between you and me
'Cause I don't care
How's it gonna be
How's it gonna be

Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the doorway we spent time in
Swings empty
I don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder
How's it gonna be
When it goes down
How's it gonna be
When you're not around
How's it gonna be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
'Cause I don't care
How's it gonna be

How's it gonna be
When you don't know me any more
And how's it gonna be

Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion

How's it gonna be
When you don't know me any more
How's it gonna be
How's it gonna be
How's it gonna be
y can't i slp at nite on weekends?

Saturday, June 09, 2007

extreme boredom has resulted in
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

a skill learnt in camp being put into practise.

kudos to kee wee..

this pic's instantly emo.. hahah

Sunday, June 03, 2007

it consumes me.
a song that lessens burdens,
and ode to reignite passion.
rise up,
rise up.
away from that acrid pleasure!
prise us from the seductive bitterness,
the flute that leaves you
spinning, swirling,
alone.

hope has blossomed,
yet is refused an audience.
veiled glory peeking thru,
foolishly ignored.

rise up,
rise up.
spread the binds,
stir up from dejection,
the journey,
your episode,
must run its course.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

YES!!!!
finally got wat i wuz looking for.. seems kinda implusive.. but wth..
it sounds great..

i give u the new fave cymbal..

my 11 inch turkish splash

a less than $100 cymbal beats lousy zildjian


i m thus converted



well.. it's not done.. but it's getting there..
feel lyk i've gotten my mojo back..
lyk now..
this is all so new and exciting..

*WHOOOO*

Sunday, May 20, 2007

hmmm there are times when u juz question urself.. wat r u doing wit urself?

where are u going?

what's this life for?

i feel unsatisfied..

but i guess it's juz a phase..

i'll get thru it..

=)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

description of my life so far:

"i hate my life! i hate my job! and MOST of all, i hate YOU! and you... and you... and you... an you... ... ..."


no i'm not tt emo in person

Friday, May 18, 2007

fine i'll stop writing weird shit..

my life my life my life..

sex an violence.. erm...

A FEMALE PRAYING MANTIS BITES OF THE HEAD OF A MALE DURING INTERCOURSE TO FACILITATE EJACULATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*BISH*

*BLOOD GUSHES OUT*

*SQUIRT*

*YAY!*


one more utterly useless bit of information..


i should tell u abt my life..

i shouldn't bitch.. cuz ppl mite read an it's funnier when i tell u in person.. or when u hear my voice..

guns are phallic symbols.. and Singapore is moving towards shrinking our rifles.

"for better maneuverability in tight spots!"

wheee!!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

playlist

let it speak to me.
pluck a line.
squeeze a circle in
to a square.
it fits.

cling on with fervor,
claimed linage.

process reengaged

rag tag tapestry,
with vulgarly mismatched colours,
monster,
mutant,
self-protrait

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

a time for memories,
a minute to admire the past.
a runner glances,
he's come far.
but all in all, about halfway.
landmarks by d side,
passing them one by one,
each one passed ensures rejuvanation.
ah!
but the effect is stifled by fatigue
the end is still far.
nearing tho,
nearing still,
not soon enough.


step by step ya? =)
missing u*

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Songs For a Moping Joash:

  1. Plain White T's : Hey There Delilah
  2. Saosin: I Can Tell There Was an Accident
  3. Story of the Year : Until the Day I Die
  4. Mayday : Er Wo Zhi Dao
  5. All American Rejects : The Last Song
  6. Dishwalla : Angels and Devils
  7. Goo Goo Dolls: Black Balloon
  8. Jimi Hendrix : Little Wing
  9. KT Tunstall : Other Side Of the World.
  10. Eagle Eye Cherry: Save Tonight
  11. Pearl Jam : Black
  12. Pearl Jam : Last Kiss
  13. Snow Patrol : Run
  14. 3rd Eye Blind : How's it Gonna Be
  15. Finch : What it is to burn.
  16. Adema : Giving in
  17. Fort Minor : Where'd U Go
  18. Joash: random irritating whines and moans of displeasure.






more playlists as my mood changes
i feel shitty.

dun tell me i shld cheer up..

i wanna mope..

ARGH!!!!

it's almost here.. time's running out.. i can onli hope d light at d end comes faster..

glad there is an end..

i m, despite my whining, excited for u.. '

will miss u a HELL lot!

still feel lyk it hasn't sunk in yet.. but it's creeping in lyk d venom ting.. haha

i could quote a thousand songs to tell u how i feel now,

but it all boils down to this..

i'll miss u, everything abt u

please take care, have fun an come back soon!





Let's waste time again,
Let's waste time again.
pointless as it seems,
Let's waste time again.

It's not like we have a better plan,
It's not like we want, but it's gonna end.
Just clinging to clouds in futile attempts.

a step to tomorrow,
a cesspool of fear,
an empty landscape
,
a river of tears.
Let Me Drown.

Let's waste time again,
Let's waste time again.
pointless as it seems,
Let's waste time again.

A beautiful prospect, it's all calm,
Silent tranquility, Time's hands slow,
In her rotation, blissfully numb.



Monday, April 30, 2007

a muse,
merely.
of things unattainable,
yet forcing fantasy.
a perfect fit,
a castle of mist,
tip-tapping raindrops on the face of hope.
awakening its slumber.
passion renewed.
strong swaying with gentle whispers,
yet only to be admired awhile.
as rain dispenses smoke.
she remains,
merely,
a muse.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

like the pea under layers of mattresses.

pinned down but not fatally.

sian-ness defined.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

a walk through the land of constantly pervasive
anti-climatic feelings.


that's just what life is.

it's never as good or as bad as anticipated.

all pulls you back to equilibrium.

*ha.... ha.... ha....*














Wednesday, April 04, 2007

the words of the dead grant them immortality

Friday, March 30, 2007

an ending?
sick an twisted.
move to point,
pay thru blood.

a list to do,
set aflame.

a flood of pain,
enforces confusion.
cries i cast.
wrong places,
wrong results.

tears.

still i fail to look Up.
a reluctant Atlas.
Swaying.

please please please..........

Sunday, March 25, 2007




Freak On A Leash


Something takes a part of me.
Something lost and never seen.
Every time I start to believe,
Something's raped and taken from me... from me.

Life's got to always be messing with me. (You wanna see the light)
Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I)
Can't I take away all this pain. (You wanna see the light)
I try to every night, all in vain... in vain.

Sometimes I cannot take this place.
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
You'll never see me fall from grace

Something takes a part of me.
You and I were meant to be.
A cheap fuck for me to lay.
Something takes a part of me.

Feeling like a freak on a leash. (You wanna see the light)
Feeling like I have no release. (So do I)
How many times have I felt diseased? (You wanna see the light)
Nothing in my life is free... is free

Chorus

Boom na da mmm dum na ema
Da boom na da mmm dum na ema

GO!

So...fight! something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
So...something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
Fight...something of the
No...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
Fight...some things they fight

Chorus

Part of me...
Oh...

Monday, March 05, 2007

it my mind, something clicked..

2 long hav we let old ppl insult us..

we hav juz said, 'we see how it goes next time..'

no1 ever tells them they screwed up..

well..

i can respect sum1 cuz of his rank, but tt's d army. outside.. who r u 2 demand respect when u insulted my family?

an still stick 2 ur blinkered logic..

i dun wanna name u..

but clearly, i dun respect u an i wun fake a smile..

Sunday, March 04, 2007

i finally let it out of my system..

anger never felt so.. liberating..

Saturday, February 24, 2007

it's juz.. volatile..

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Fuckin' Up

Mindless drifter on the road
Carry such an easy load
It's how you look,
and how you feel
You must have
a heart of steel.

Why do I keep fuckin' up?

I can see you on a hill
Comatose but walking still
Curves beneath
your flowing gown
Only I could
bring you down.

Why do I keep fuckin' up?

Dogs that lick
and dogs that bite
Hounds that howl
through the night
Broken leashes
are all over the floor
Keys left hanging
in a swinging door.

Why do I keep fuckin' up?

Keep fuckin' up!

Thursday, January 25, 2007




HAHAHA! PART 2.. see previous post for previous part.. =P


HAHAHA! more randomness!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007



remember tt little penguin from Happy Feet who raps?

i found the song! hahaha

'don't push me cause i'm close to the edge. i'm trying not to lose my head!'

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Ananova:
Opik fell for Cheeky Girl's brains

Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik says he fell for his Cheeky Girl lover because she challenges him intellectually.

He told Hello! magazine that it was not Gabriela Irimia's curves that won him over.

Lembit, 41, said: "She challenges me intellectually. Our relationship is not based on lust.

"It's primarily a relationship of intellect and meeting of minds.

"I don't see her as a Cheeky Girl, I see her as Gabriela, who really holds my emotional and mental attention."

But Gabriela, 24, said: "I'd never heard of him before in my life! I was never into politics."

Lembit also revealed MPs regularly sing The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) to him in the Commons - "very badly".

His ex-fiancee Sian Lloyd, 48, is interviewed in the same edition of the mag and gets bigger billing on the front cover.

Wednesday 17th January 2007


Cheeky... Girls....? erm.. weren't they lyk the one hit wonders from.... my sec 4 daes??
ananova.com rocks

Sunday, January 14, 2007

babe! this is totally for u!

=)



love u dear! =)

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear

Sunday, January 07, 2007

we should never have to beg for ppl to care.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

elo from camp! damn sian..

using the communal computer.. onli com wit msn in the whole camp?

wat the.. haha got till 130pm..

the computer comforts me.. hahaha! it's lyk a singular link to the outside world.. haha..

missing evry1!

Sunday, December 17, 2006




HAHA!




How To Save A Life (The Fray)

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life



i would hav stayed up wit you all nite..
how slow time is now..

the calm b4 the storm..

missing you..

missing you all..

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

i was nv good at say wat i reali feel.. so here is another song..

F..



Pink Floyd
Wish You Were Here


So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil
Do you think you can tell
Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change
Did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage

How I wish
How I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here





wish i cld sing beta.. ahaha =P

*wish you were here*

Saturday, December 09, 2006








What It's Like (Everlast)

We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange
He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes
"Get a job you fucking slob," is all he replies
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues

Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what's it like

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love
He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll
I'm the man you've been dreaming of."
But 3 months later he say he won't date her or return her calls
And she swear, "God damn, if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls."
And then she heads for the clinic and
She gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
And they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose

Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what's it like

Bridge

I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the downside of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
And smoked the finest green
I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start

I knew this kid named Max
Who used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late
He liked to get shit-faced and keep the pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight and Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome 45, talked some shit, and wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain
You know it comes that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose

Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Yeah then you really might know what's it like
To have the blues




ouch man.. found this song tt i heard b4.. juz nv paid attention 2 it.. it's kinda thru ya?
looking into my past man..

gotta try slp earlier

Thursday, December 07, 2006

haiz*

i noe i shld be thankful..

i shld be happy..

there was a boy in a desert, who stumbled across a barrel of water.
he sat down by it, realizing he wuz thirsty, an started drinking.

satisfied, he looked ard, an saw a little bud growing, an felt lyk he shld water it, an so he did.

a mongoose came over as well, an found relief in the boy's barrel of water.

his best fren came over to, of whom they shared everything, an soon sat by him..

soon the barrel was running dry..

then they both started talking..

regreting all tt sharing..

was it all worth it?

was it worth it 2 be so nice?


as time shortens, it slows down.. you just try 2 grab on to overything.. u want it 2 drag.. u want everything..

but they dun call it the sands of time for nothing, u can never hold on 2 it..

i'll miss all of you.. Sulyn, Ian, Qin, family, church peeps, old frens, Randall, all who i hav been able to talk 2 cuz i'm stuck at home.

dear.. i promise you, we'll get thru it ya?

*LUL, XXXXOOXXOOXOOOOXXXXXX*

ever.

Friday, December 01, 2006

it's cool 2 be depressed.. i wanna be depressed.. hahaha

ok scrape tt.. this is a nice song from my early teenage years.. ahaha..

Adema - Giving In

Will you walk me,
To the edge again?
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you

Take me under,
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight,
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble,
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight,
I'm giving in to you

Caught up in life,
Losing all my friends,
Family has tried to heal all my addictions,
Tragic it seems to be alone again
I'm giving in to you

Take me under,
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight,
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble,
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight,
I'm giving in to you

I look forward to dying tonight,
Drink 'till I'm myself, life's harder every day,
The stress has got me,
I'm giving in..
Giving in!
Giving in, NO!

Take me under,
(I'm killing all the pain.)
I'm dying tonight,
(I'm sick of all that faith)
Watch me crumble,
(I'm killing all the pain.)
I'm crying tonight,
I'm giving in to you

Take me under,
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight,
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble,
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight,
I'm giving in to you
Take me under,
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight,
I'm giving in to you



those days seem so near yet so far away.. lyk alot of things happen in between liddat.. hahaha.. =) kinda miss those days now.. hahaha..

other songs i wuz into last time.. an picking up again:

  1. Chevelle - The Red
  2. Breaking Benjamin - Polyamourous
  3. Korn - Freak On A Leash
  4. Finch - What It Is To Burn
  5. Story Of The Year - Until The Day I Die
  6. RATM - Wake Up, Bullet In The Head, Testify (alot la)
  7. AFI - This Celluloid Dream, Girls Not Grey
  8. Orgy - Blue Monday, Fiction (Dreams In Digital)
and many more.. hahaa check them out.. they're reali not bad..

i'm unlocking my past metalhead.. Wahahahaha.. =)

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Jimi Hendrix Lyrics - Little Wing

Well, she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind,
That's running wild.
Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams
And fairytales,

That's all she ever thinks about ...

Riding with the wind.

When I'm sad, she comes to me
With a thousand smiles
She gives to me free.

It's alright, she says,
It's alright;
Take anything you want from me,
Anything.

Fly on, little wing.


been hearing old sch stuff.. an this song is nice! mayb exp the corrs version, too.. erm.. irish? hahaha

mite detail my current playlist soon..


it's coming closer..

feeling shittier..

p.s. where's the hater on my tagboard? hahaha!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Tuesday, November 07, 2006






nice song, but once again, another self parody moment.

Friday, October 27, 2006

maple rocks!

i have ventured the maplesphere and came back wit picture postcards of my quest!









sure beats actaully playing tt game.. hahahaha!

Monday, October 16, 2006

sat down in the living room today at abt 6.

chronicled the setting sun in my mind.

felt myself fade away to the ghost i once was.

i swear i could almost see thru my arm.

i'm fading.

Friday, October 13, 2006

i'm not addicted to aniting..

juz to the feeling of escapism.

this is wat drives me..

Friday, October 06, 2006

how did a weird song go from.

this





to..



oh well.. nid slp.. an sumting beta 2 do.. hahahaha!

Monday, October 02, 2006

... ian ur lecturer mite be right aft all.. hahaha..

IS BATMAN GAY?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006



o_O?! i wanna play drums in a wookie suit 2.. ok wait no i wan d stormtropper shit.. hahahaha =P

bored

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Ananova:
'Green' arms giant's lead-free bullets

A British arms giant is planning a new range of 'environmentally friendly' weapons - including lead-free bullets.

BAE Systems says it wants to design bullets without lead because it 'can harm the environment and pose a risk to people'.

The company also aims to make 'quieter' warheads to cut noise pollution and 'eco-friendly' rockets, reports The Sun.

Scientists are also working on bio-degradable explosives and grenades that produce less harmful smoke.

BAE director Dr Debbie Allen said: "Weapons are going to be used, and when they are we try to make them as safe to the user as possible to limit the collateral damage.

"We also try to impact as little as possible on the environment."

But Campaign Against Arms Trade spokesman Symon Hill said: "This is laughable. They make weapons to kill people. It's utterly ridiculous."

08:19 Monday 18th September 2006


1 mth att c.. mayb out of brave.. weird news..

Sunday, September 10, 2006

do i ruin tings?
booking in.. again..

head's in a mess..

going in too fast.. haiz*

hate my life

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

hate booking in.. totally.. counting down is painful..

missing it all alreadi..

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

national day..

doesn't mean much 2 me exp a break.. hahaha..

saw this episode of band of brothers tt wuz shown in camp today titled
'why we fight', which juz showed d allies finding out abt the concentration camps.

d most memorable scene to me wuz actually the starting part, as in the song where they showed the old foto like ting...

it made me wonder..

to all you ppl out there tt belive tt war and armed conflict is glorious and heroic, and are willing to rush out at "the press of a button", let me ask u..

how would u feel going off to a foreign land to fight, for God noes how long, knowing full well tt u may never return, and even if you did, tt there would be no1 left around waiting for u?

can u honestly sat u can look a man square in the eye and shoot him dead? can you fight on when side by side ur frens die by u in a mess of blood and flying body parts?

are we all prepared for tt?

let ur imagination run wild.

why do we fight?

cuz we have orders to kill the ememy, while the 'ememy' has orders to kill their enemy, and all fighting carry the hope of going baq to the lives they lived before, for the people who pray for their safety everyday.

so let's tink logically and fairly, who rightfully deserves to die? whose side the evil one?

all must suffer cuz 2 people can't agree..

is it reali for our best interests?

i reali dun wanna be a part of this..

i'm not prepared.

sum fighting soldier huh?

Sunday, July 30, 2006

how doi start

how do i tell u gow i feel, knowing how bad u alreadi do?
cause seriously, i noe how u feel TOTALLY.

i guess what hope i had last week has faded into confusion. don't wanna blame ani1, but all i can say is tt i'll juz have 2 do my best an c how it goes from there.

i realise tt i don't pray tt much animore, i mostly concentrate my feelings into a thick mass an fire it skywad to Heaven, while listening out for the soft thud of Someone bigger an greater than everything around me, catching it like a tennis ball thrown in his direction.

it reali sucks to feel helpless, like when i realised tt u were suffering yest an i could do nth but just start to pray. worry for you combined wit dread for myself as a silent superstition tt belives tt events will turn out the opposite of what i which for most of the time. 2ce i felt lyk drowning last nite. one when i showered, and the moment the water hit me, my lungs contracted an for the next 20 sec, breathing wuz shit. next came in a vague dream that i wuz drowning in my blanket, and had to constantly rise for oxygen.

whatever tt means.

i can't help it, i still want u to enjoy urself more than me.

happy army stories are hard to come by, and onli for the reali crazy or reali luckly ppl.

i am neither.

so i will have to do what i can.

25/7/06
2.30 p.m.


=) thanks for the weekend.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

it sucks everytime i book in

i noe i'll b out again tml.. but tt still freaking leaves lyk monday till sat again.. so irritating la...


haiz*

miss myself being not ard..

it's lyk i come out.. and fade into non-existance again.. evry weekday.. juz phase out..

haiz* evryday i'm home feels lyk a weekend..

miss all..

miss u..

sulyn.. have fun ya??


take care in camp!!!! noe u'll do great. =)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

wat is loneliness?
i guess it's tt weird feeling tt u get when u juz miss company. when 5 sec ago life seemed so hectic, and conversation so fluid. but soon aft it juz dies down into nothingness.

some ppl choose to attemp to jolt life back into the situation, to maybe make a phone call or sumting.. but mayb im a sadist, but i wanna sit this one out, in all it's gripping crushing darkness tt ebbs and flows ard me, to c wat it does to me, an mayb describe it.

like waiting till ur eyes adjust to the darknes of the night. seems tt darkness is something tt is pervading into my life more and more. but i dun fear it. it covers me, and hides the scary stuff from my eyes, which mayb a good ting.

i guess part of me feeling shitting is the fact tt i could be come doing beta tings wit my life then jus wasting my time eating mush witcool manes, i hate it here sometimes, esp when i'm alone, but it reali depends on my mood. i guess it gets worse when nitefalls, it's juz bad i guess.

weirdly, i can feel tt way on weekday aftnoons, esp when i'mat home alone. or anitime is good 2. mayb it' juz me feeling sian at being denies at wat i wanna do.

so i guess, mayb i can never be satisfied.

tinking leaves more qns than ans

writen on 13/7/06
8p.m. in Bravo Bunk


sian!!! booking in again!!!! still feels shitty!!!!! =P

missing evryting.. an worried abt d future. *haiz*

=)

Sunday, July 09, 2006

last day of my status at home..

guess no matter wat happens.. i'm still an army boy..

back to the routine..

seemed kinda ironic tt i juz watched a show on a max security prison..

an there u live by a set of rules.. of respect.. blah blah blah..

sian.. sounds not 2 diff frm army..

kept saying tt in there time is in limbo.. tt evrydae is the same..

freak! isn't tt juz lyk NS?!

my time out wuz lyk.. limbo in limbo..

evrydae juz stay home.. then lyk dunno wat dae is wat.. cuz no diff..

get calls to check on me an shit.. can't move ard v much..

but screw tt.. i wld never give wat i had this week..

never.

living a week on stolen time.

euphoric.

wun bored wit details..

i'll juz explain it in colours..

juz wave aft wave of swirly happiness..

now darkening again..

a week of sloth an gluttony..

slipped lyk sand thru my fingers..

i guess i wld feel beta abt wat is coming if i actually knew wat is ahead..

i guess i juz have 2 c wat is unrevelled b4 me..




it's so hard not 2 hope..

cuz i dun wanna be dissappointed.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Thursday, July 06, 2006

haiz* tings feel kinda uncertain now.. cuz lyk i'm lyk now in limbo over my injury an stuff.. but haiz*

guess it's all up 2 d big guy above ya? hahaha =)

feel scared but yet.. juz noe tt we'll make it thru..

guess we can't hold on to the past.. an it seems lyk we're being dragged forward..

yeah we're both bummed out.. but haiz* =)

we're covered.. we juz gotta learn to rise above the trials ya?

it's crazy i noe. but yeah..

*WINKS*

here's a dedication again!

You'll Be Safe Here

Rivermaya

Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be

Chorus:

Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

Chorus:

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here

When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

argh.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

hmmm sumtimes it's hard 2 sae wat i reali feel.. so i guess i shld juz make a dedication...

here's 2 u.. =)


Easy Tonight


You were wrong
You were right
And you are gone Tonight
You were free So alive
You were wrong You were right

And you were down
You could see
And you wore hearts for me
And you were sharp Sharp as knives
You were wrong You were right

Shot down said you never had the chance
Took a ride on a suicide romance
Could have sworn there was somebody home
To facilitate the great unknown
Oh woman, I ain't going to meet you anywhere
Dont know where Im going yet,
But I sure am getting there

Shotgun fire anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright?
No, It's not easy tonight

Shotgun fire anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright?
No, It's not easy tonight

You were bound You were free
You wear black for me
You were dark As Dark as night
You were wrong Yet you were right

Shot down said you never had the chance
Took a ride on a suicide romance
Could have sworn there was somebody home
To facilitate the great unknown
Oh woman, I ain't going to meet you anywhere
Dont know where Im going yet, no
But I sure am getting there

Shotgun fire anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright?
No, It's not easy tonight

Shotgun fire anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright?
No, It's not easy tonight

She's In over my head
And it's not easy, it's not easy tonight

She's In over my head
And it's not easy, its not easy tonight

Shotgun fire anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright?
No It's not easy tonight

Shotgun fire anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright? Yeah!

You were free Now your not
You were free babe

Sunday, June 18, 2006

haiz*

Saturday, June 17, 2006

an then there is silence..

juz silence..

it's crushing..

vast an pitch black..

no sound of my tears..

tho they pour..

i miss u..

i miss the light..

*have fun where u are*
got posting.. a combat engineer.. doing bridging.. ah..

confusion , fear an excitement combined..

haiz* dunno how it's gonna turn out..

but i guess it's all i God's hands rite?

noe it's gonna b ok..

hmmm sulyn's in china.. hope she's fine..

no matter wat happens.. i stil miss her.. alot..

hope she'll b fine. an i noe she'll have alot of fun.. hahaha

juz hoping an praying..

hope tings turn out good..

=)

Thursday, June 15, 2006






current fave chi song.. hahaha means quite alot to me.. glad i can put videos on here. but muz edit d size.. hahaha *winks* hahahaha best way to say.. i miss u! =P

=)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

hello from the airport! hahahahah


going hanoi for a few days.. hahaha aq on the 14th of march..

will miss evry1.. an will try 2 get stuff ya? hahaha


sulyn: miss u damn alot!!! take care k? will be back soon


free internet is so cool.. heeee!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

who r we?

an what do we have?

that leaves us to wit an extremity of emotions..

swinging back n forth..

leaving us giddy and in a massive whirlpool of rage and euphoria

a mixture that beats special k..

is this for the best?

i don't know..

is this what shld be done?

i don't know..

d future is a darkness..

Sunday, June 04, 2006

pop in 3 days..


seems so fast..

time reali flies..

have i grown?

hmmmmm


step forward into another unknown..

but i noe i'm covered..

hope i stay d same.. hope i stay sane.. hehe..

hope i grow wit sulyn..

=P

*big hug*